Quit Blog

Will try to quit 09/02/2010 after 44 years of smoking. Need lots of prayers.

Day one was so hard. I was extremely irritable and it didn't help that I put myself in a situation that I was around smoke. My neighbor's son's birthday was yesterday and my kids got invited over for cupcakes. But I didn't give into the temptation although I wanted to so bad.

I was reminding myself when cravings came throughout the day that they only last up to about 6 minutes and to do something until the craving passed. So I would vacuum or work on making bracelets or something to get my mind somewhat off the craving. Again, didn't give into them.

I feel a little better today. It was easier to wake up than it normally is. Could that be because of quitting?? I don't really know but it's nice to think so :)

The first week of quitting smoking is always a downer. I say always because this isn't my first attempt. You think I would get tired of all the side effects from quitting smoking that I'd only do such a thing to myself once and call it good enough.

Well I made the mistake that most people do - Relapse. I can sit and blame it on all the excuses and stresses in the world. Nothing will change the fact that I need to kick the habit permanently. You name the reason to quit and it's a good one. Right now I have comic strip clippings about quitting smoking hanging up at my desk. Pictures of kids and other things to remind me of the effect this has on observers or involuntary 2nd hand smokers. My mind is in the right place, so why is it that I let the stress of work get to me??? Today is especially hard. There is not enough gum, toothpicks, or suckers to really deter the repeating thought of a cigarette in my mind. It's like that Truth About Tobacco commercial where the guy is being eaten by a shark, but he doesn't realize it. The only thought going through his head is "Cigarette, cigarette, cigarette..." I feel like that. They say it goes away after 15 minutes...my cravings this time around the quitting attempt are lasting more like 45 minutes.

Day 5 of quitting smoking. I've made it this far. Another week and I'll start even breathing better I'm sure. I'll be able to taste food again too. I already love the better smell and extra money (well, I wish...when is there ever extra).

I hope that I can keep the common sense in my head and not give in to "just another cigarette". I truly mean it when I say it - this IS the hardest thing I have ever tried to do. For those of you succeeding today, congratulations. You amaze me.

Since I gave it up seven months ago:

1. Aching gums are a thing of the past.
2. Bicycle roughly 50 miles a week.
3. I've saved bags of money (a pack is now $7.50 plus).
4. My car smells like a car.
5. Sense of smell returning in a big way.
6. Have tons of energy.
7. Can wear a sweater more than once.
8. Chance of dying from cancer, emphysema or some other nasty disease is lessening.

Interestingly enough, I've put on 40 lbs. However, I was historically a bit thin and the new weight is mostly muscle and not too much fat. For a short time, I ate to stifle the craving but that was 15 lbs ago. The weight really feels good and seems right for my frame. I cannot fit into a single piece of clothing I owned seven months ago. Pants size has gone up two inches. First time in a decade and a half I'm tan on my chest, back and shoulders. A bit of that 40 lbs ended up in the middle, but not much. My body looks good.

I've done more this summer than I have since my teen ager days. I did many a road trip that had been put off for years. I think it all the extra energy, time and money.

The year mark is some time off, but don't see any problems. The trick is to embrace the challenges.

I am a little anxious about tomorrow. I have 5 cigarettes left to smoke today. I don't want to buy one more pack because I know I wouldn't be able to smoke it all today and then I would have a hard time throwing them away and "wasting money". Sounds strange to say that since I know I already am wasting money buying them.

I want to quit and I am ready. The other times I have quit I just did it on a whim and didn't plan it. This is the first time I have done it using a program and actually picking a day and going through all the info. I think that's where my anxiety is coming from. But I still want too and am ready so hopefully tomorrow when the time is here the anxiety will be less and the excitement more.