How To Help a Quitter

S.O.S. Save One Smoker! The call has gone out, and you've got to answer. When someone you care about is trying to quit tobacco, there is so much you can do to help. All the research shows that quitters with a support network of family and friends are up to 10 times more successful at quitting than those who go it alone. As the spouse, relative, or friend of a quitter, you are an essential ally in this battle with tobacco. That's why it's so important that you understand your role in this fight. Make no mistake, quitting tobacco could be one of the most grueling and challenging battles your loved one ever wages.

Here are some tips for being a first-class cheerleader, quit partner, and safety net:

• Spend time having fun with your quitter. Physical activities, such as sports or even a walk, will make you both feel better. It helps relieve the tension of nicotine withdrawal; keeps him too busy to smoke or chew; and, according to research, improves his chances for success. Other pleasant pastimes such as movies, athletic events, or shopping can keep him occupied and in places where smoking is simply not allowed.
• Be prepared to help your quitter find healthy distractions when she experiences tobacco cravings. Have a healthy snack, play a game, crack her up with a new joke, or suggest that she start a quit journal to monitor and record her progress. Your presence and support will remind her why she chose to quit and encourage her to resist the urge to use tobacco again.
• Be tolerant of the irritability and distractedness that may come with nicotine withdrawal. It's tough to quit tobacco, both physically and emotionally! Your quitter may be grumpy and cranky, but remember that he's on the road to one of the greatest accomplishments of his lifetime, and in the long run, everyone will benefit.
• If your quitter wants to talk, be there for her. Suggest that you're available for periodic check-ins even if it's just to ask how she's doing. Tell her to call you when she needs an encouraging word or a strong shoulder. Compliment her often on her efforts to quit. Positive feedback is always welcome and appreciated. When she sees that you are on board unconditionally, she will begin to comprehend the importance of this lifesaving mission. If she needs additional support, she can find it with a Cessation Coach.
• If you use tobacco, please consider quitting along with him. As quit buddies, you can motivate one another, like exercise workout partners. If you're not ready to quit today, you can still help your quitter by not using tobacco in front of him and by following the other tips listed above. Be a shield against people who might try to sabotage this mission. Other tobacco users can be intimidated by his resolve and success, but together you and your quitter can prepare for and fend off incoming insults or discouraging comments.

If your quitter has a slip-up or relapse, she may feel utterly ashamed and frustrated, and can use your help more than ever. Instead of adding to the blame and guilt, offer nonjudgmental encouragement and assurance that slip-ups and relapses are normal, not to beat herself up, but to simply try again. You can remind her that most quitters make several quit attempts before succeeding. Always say "When you try to quit again," rather than "If you try to quit again."

As our military background and training teaches us, we need to work together to get the important jobs done. By supporting someone's efforts to quit tobacco, you are helping us accomplish together what we cannot do alone.

S.O.S. Save One Smoker. One smoker today, one next month, and then who knows, maybe everyone will jump aboard the quitting lifeboat.

Need some inspiration for this mission? A famous actress from Hollywood's silent film era, Mary Pickford, once wisely said, "Supposing you have tried and failed again and again. You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing that we call "Failure" is not the falling down, but the staying down."

When a tobacco user chooses NOT to stay down, he's a winner. When you reach out your hand toward that smoker, you're a hero!